Tri me

This post is being posted after the triathlon, but was drafted a few days before.  Sorry for the delay! I hate when I forget to hit “publish”

The nightmares have begun.  My first triathlon is in 5 days and I’m dreaming that the pool is in a rusty vampire building, that the ladies are hiding my shoes from me while I swim the first leg of the race, and that I would be in very last place.  The first two are unlikely, but the last is haunting me.

I don’t want to be that girl who crosses last and who everyone is waiting on- or worse- who everyone left because they were ready for breakfast.

I don’t want to hear the same voice directed at me that I hear every day from mommies at the pool who are so proud of their wee lads for swimming with their swimmies still on.  “I’m so proud of you! You did such a great job!”

Lots of people have said things like “well, at least you are doing one!” or “I’d just be happy to cross the finish line”.

That’s nice.

I wanna win.

So what did I do?  The only thing a normal American beginner triathlete (I am having nightmares about these stupid things, so I am calling myself a triathlete) would do.  I googled “how to not be in last place in a triathlon”.

I could google “how come when i talk to girls on facebook they don’t answer me back” and I’d get lots of results.

I could google “why are americans afraid of dragons” and almost a million pages would come up.

I could google “why do asians have slanty eyes” and end up with enough reading material to last me until I can afford to go to asia and ask one myself.

But when I google “how to not be in last place in a triathlon” all that comes up is something about the Phillies and the Red Sox.  I did find a promising article about a lady who finishes every single race last.  Unfortunately, when I looked at the participant list for Sunday morning, her name was not there.

Confessions Part II will probably include hilarious pictures of women I tripped to get ahead, weird outfits that people wore, and a story of a happy ending (one where I was in first place).