Guard your heart? From what?

Guard your heart.

I hear it all the time.

Almost always (as in, I’ve never heard it any other way, but I may not have been paying attention once, so we’ll just say almost always) in context with relationships with the opposite sex.

I’m guilty of saying it, too.  I say it in D-group to the middle school girls.  I say it to myself.  I say it when justifying my actions to those wiser or older than me.  I’m not immune.

But what does that mean?

Bonnie and I discussed that we didn’t think it only meant guard your heart when dealing with the opposite sex and while back, but we never really completed a thought about what it actually means.

I don’t think it necessarily is directly related to what I always thought.  My assumption was that if you guard your heart, it won’t get broken.  You won’t get hurt.  You’ll have more of your heart to give to your spouse (even though, I feel like men are very rarely warned that they should guard their hearts).  Maybe I grossly misunderstood, but honestly, I don’t think I’m the only one who did.

Phillipians says that the peace of God will guard my heart.

1 John tells us to guard our hearts from idols.

Proverbs tells us to guard our hearts because it is the wellspring of life.

I haven’t found anywhere that it tells me to guard my heart because it might get broken by some stupid boy.  (while boys can be idols-and a big one for girls- it certainly is not the only thing we are tempted to idolize).

Bear with me, here.  Maybe this is a long shot.  Maybe not.

If Christ lives in me- if he consumes me to my core (which I’d consider to be my soul-the most intimate part of who I am), and if my heart is equated with my soul (I don’t think we are talking about a physical heart here, obviously), and since we are told that the heart is the wellspring of life (I mean- Christ lives in us- in our souls, which here equal our hearts, yes?) then maybe what we are guarding is Christ in us- or our relationship with Christ.

Put up a shield to guard from the idols that may try to consume you- even just a little.  Money, relationships,material things, lust, people, etc.  Guard your heart from those things that could break your communion with the Father.  Guard your heart from those things that you desire to your core that aren’t Christ.

Finding satisfaction in Christ and nothing else is the very thing that will guard our hearts.  When we find that satisfaction, His peace is abundant.  Our communion with Him is constant.  Our focus is on Him and not the things of this world.

Summer fun

I’m pretty excited about this summer.  I mean, don’t get me wrong- parts of it are going to suck.

I decided that I wanted to be productive. So I’m going to:

Learn to cook.  I know the basics- don’t get shell in the egg when you crack it open.  Turn the oven to the temperature that the recipe tells you to.  I know the theory of cooking.  I can think all day about how to cook certain things, but what I’d really like to learn is how to COOK.  I want to feed someone my food and them be like man! How did you make that!?  I want chicken to be different.  I want bread to be perfect.  I want to be able to claim my recipes as my own- not Betty Crocker’s or Martha Stewart’s.

Read a book per week.  Anything.  I’ve got some non-fiction on my shelf (as that’s what I usually prefer) that is begging to be reread.  I’ve also got a couple of fiction titles waiting on me as well (The Lucky One by Nicolas Sparks will be my first read while I’m at the beach!!) like some Jodi Picoult and The Shack by William Young.

Having a schedule so that my days aren’t so crazy that I have to fit God in, but that I’ll finally have time to sit with His word- to dwell.

Redo my room so that A.  it’s not so full of stuff.  B.  it’s easy to move out of when the time comes.  C.  it makes more sense (because now- it’s chaos, and not the organized kind).

Spend time investing in people.  Enough said.  I was never created to keep to myself or to be so busy doing Sarah things that I couldn’t invest in people and disciple girls.

Sleep.  I just want to sleep.

Through the Fire

I’ve never been a huge fan of the whole potter and the clay metaphor.  Not that I don’t think it’s extremely true (especially after watching people work pottery, oh and that whole part about it being in the Bible to describe the shaping of Israel), I think it’s just that awful potter and the clay song that people sing in church sometimes that turns me off from the whole idea.

Either way, these past few weeks, and especially today, I’ve realized that God is putting me through the fire.

I feel like to an extent I’ve been molded- not that I won’t be ever-changing (hopefully), but I do know who I am.  I’ve found my identity in Christ and I see the gifts He has given me (that doesn’t mean I always use them- but that’s where the fire comes in).  I’ve been shaped.

Several times I’ve even been reformed like Israel was in Jeremiah 18.  I was a little crooked, a little off so God broke me and started over (well almost).

Now I’m going through the fire.  The one that finishes you so that you can become useful.  The one that finishes you so that you can be beautiful.

It burns.

Like whoa.

Things that could potentially be in the way of this transformation are taken.  Those things standing between God and I (because I put them there, mind you), are stripped from the path that leads me to Him.

It’s just me and Him now. So good.  So scary.  I don’t know that I’ve ever been to this place before.  A place with very little distraction away from my Father.

What does this look like in my everyday life?  No idea.

Listen!!

Ha. For me this one task seems impossible, sometimes.

Between selfishness and pride I forget on a regular (much too regular) basis that I’m supposed to be listening.

Recently, though, I’ve been doing more and more of it.  And Wow.  After God got over the shock that I had decided to shut up for 5 seconds, He spoke in mighty ways.  He’s showing me so much about who I am in Him, where I’ll go, what I’ll do.  So good.

Saturday evening at worship night there was a lot of listening happening, but after an hour, we started singing and talking and playing.  God could have talked for weeks and still had more to tell me just to catch me up on where I should have been years ago.  So I will listen.

The radio in the car is off.  The iPod is unplugged.  The tv won’t be turned on.

I’m ready to listen for as long as He talks.

I’m so scared.

My Big Adventure

I have found one pattern in my life.  Just one.  People leave.  My freshman year in college, I found that the people that I had grown up with were all going in separate directions, and so we left each other.  The summer after that first year, my best friend worked at summer camp and I didn’t see her for almost the whole summer.  The next year some of my best friends went on Summer Project with Crusade for the summer, again leaving.  After that within a month two people that I was extremely close to moved to other parts of the country.  One to D.C. and one to Texas. Every year it seems as though the people that I’m the closest to get taken away.  This year is no different.

So many times I find myself asking God why.

Why do they get the exciting life?

Why do they get to go on these amazing adventures?

Why do they get to make a huge difference?

Why am I always left at home by myself to do what seems like nothing?

This weekend, God has revealed so many things to me (which will be taking up SEVERAL blog posts), but one of them is that my adventure is right here.  I work with the youth at Monaghan, and I pour into those kids, and I LOVE them (LOVE LOVE LOVE them).  I get to spend the whole summer with them.  I am a part of a ministry at Agape that is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  A body of believers who know how to be the Body.  Passionate people who love Christ and want to show every single person that they come in contact with that they are SO loved.

No, I don’t sleep on a bunk bed all summer, or hand out tracts to lifeguards or lead Bible Studies everyday, but that doesn’t make my life any less of an adventure or any less meaningful.  It makes it a different adventure.  Certainly an adventure worth being excited about!